parenting stigmas

When I was expecting my first born, I was very how would you put it... BLUR. I was the first cousin in the huge family of ours, to get married and have kids. So, my forerunners were aunties, and grandmas. Many of which just don't tell you the truth. They tell you what they want to tell you. And many a times they leave out the most important parts. I used to wonder, when motherhood would set in. Isn't it strange, one minute you are a wife the next you are a expectant mum, and the next you are a parent. Three different roles and three major full time jobs. It's like God gave you a very precious gift and now you don't know what to do with it.

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The generation before me, fooled me to think that the wisdom you need for parenting would automatically set in. (kind of like you suddenly sprout wings). Once my baby was born, reality set in, and I felt helpless and scared. Today, mothers are blessed in this area. All they need is a laptop and the world is knowledge at your feet. However, neither is ideal. For parenting, ignorance isn't always bliss and neither is too much of knowledge, it makes one paranoid. I have met parents who are paranoid about every little thing. I, on the other hand, prayed and wished all was well. Like I said, balance is important for both your sanity.

I was blessed that my hubby had experience looking after his sister's children. Thus, he seemed more comfortable with our babies. I leaned a lot on my mum for the to dos. It wasn't the brightest idea, as to your mum, she will always see you as a helpless child. It was a power struggle with my mum, trying to tell her that I had a handle on things. I saw some light, when my second boy was born, my mum had overdozed my first born with all her attention, that she didn't have much left for the second born. This was a good thing, as I had a chance to make mummy mistakes, like normal mums do.

All in all I appreciated the help from family and my wonderful hubby (who did the night shifts), and I loved the idea that he allowed me to make mistakes. He would always say that mistakes only make you stronger. As parents we are always "Work in Progress". The world changes so fast, our children are so different from yesterday. Parenting styles change too.

Parents, relax, take a deep breathe and live a little. Enjoy your little ones and believe in yourself. If you need some information, go ahead a look it up. But otherwise, spend that time listening to your child. Yes, even your infant can communicate with you, through his/ her cries and gestures. Mother's trust your gut, it comes with the title of Motherhood.