Today Ivan starts school in a new place. We had brought him down to St Andrew's Autism Center, only once prior to today. I was so nervous, don't know how he felt though. I had prepared him for today, for some time.
As the transport pulled up, he got in and fastened his seat belt. I accompanied him today. I sat next to him, wanting to hug him tight. Instead, I held onto his hand. After a while, I tore my hand apart. He was doing well settling down, and here I am not being able to let go. It's hard you know...
I leaned back into my seat and watched him. He looked out gazing from the window. After a while, he mentioned that he didn't like this bus and wanted to go back home. He was uncomfortable as we were the only ones on the bus. It would be like this for the next two weeks. I clinched at my teeth. I was starting to feel the protective mum inside of me, breaking out. After a power struggle, I composed myself and knew that I had to trust the LORD with my baby. He would be in safer hands and I would be able to have some peace.
So the best way to let go and let God, is to rest.
And what better way to rest in the Lord, than with a good, fattening dessert.
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